Friday, August 12, 2011

Confusing Christian



This is part 2 of the BYU success story--otherwise knows as How I Met my Husband, leading up to our 10 year anniversary.
Part one: BYU success story

Christian and I spent most of July e-mailing back and forth. I saved a bunch of them, and they're pretty funny. It was becoming more and more apparent to me that there was Something Happening between us, but I wasn't sure yet how I felt about that. I was simply enjoying the friendly, sometimes flirty, nature of our conversations. I know I was driving him crazy. I tell him all the time that if I stayed in Utah that summer, things might not have worked out between us because I was so bad at relationships. What he didn't know was that summer I had no working internet connection at my Mom's house. In order to sustain this e-mail friendship, I had to find a way to reach a computer (at the library, a friends' house), so I think the level of effort I put into it shows that I was interested. Sometime into the summer, we began discussing the possibility of a visit.

Christian and I had good friends, Joy and Joey, who had met and started dating around the time we met and started...being friends (not dating). Joy lived in Washington, near me, and was planning on spending fall semester in London before serving a mission. She didn't expect to be back at BYU for 2 years, which was particularly concerning for Joey (who really just wanted a decent chance to change her mind). Christian decided that it was his duty to drive Joey to Washington so that he and Joy could spend some time together...and, you know, maybe I could go down and hang out with them. So, at the end of July, I met Christian and Joey at Joy's house, where we spent the weekend enjoying the best of Washington.
We hiked in Issaquah, picnicked in the Arboretum,
rode a ferry, and took a walk on the beach.
(I love this picture, because it shows Christian trying to stand next to me...and leaning quite a bit)

During this weekend, I thought seriously about whether or not I was interested in dating Christian. I decided I wasn't. Joy passed this message on to Christian as gently as she could (while on the ferry), and then told me she had talked with him...and I immediately began to second guess myself.
I spent the rest of the weekend thinking that maybe I was interested, after all...and thinking that I was behaving in a more encouraging manner (which I wasn't). We had quite a bit of time to ourselves, since we were giving Joy and Joey time to themselves, including what could have been a very romantic walk on the beach, if I had let him hold my hand, which I didn't. Before leaving, Christian mentioned maybe talking on the phone over the next few weeks before school started and the only thing I said was that between our work schedules, it might be hard to find a time. I didn't mean to be discouraging, but yeah, I kind of was.

Anyway, poor Christian drove back to Utah with no encouragement from me. Boo.

I did one thing right. I sent him an e-mail before he got home, and called him the next day. After that, we called more than e-mailing. He even called me at work sometimes (Fred Meyer, home and auto department) to save me from boredom. We talked all the time, and it became apparent that our little friendship had become more. I remember our first phone conversation, after his little trip, when he talked about how his mother had taught all his sisters-in-law to cut their husband's hair and how his mother had made quilts for all her children as wedding gifts--and he described his to me. I thought it was an interesting topic for us to discuss--probably way more indicative of how he was feeling than he intended it to be. (Especially since we still hadn't gone on a real date).

That August, I decided that I needed to bring up the topic of marriage at home. While I was hardly ready to get engaged yet, I knew that if I let something develop with Christian, I had to be serious about it.

**Sidenote--I knew Christian was serious about marriage for a few reasons. First of all, he told me he was. He was almost 4 years older than me, which at the time seemed like a lot. Also, he had a certain encounter with Elder Charles Didier, who was visiting Christian's family while his father served as Stake President. Elder Didier mentioned that he go married in his late twenties. Christian jokingly told him that he would follow in footsteps and wait a while for marriage, but Elder Didier told him in no uncertain terms to be serious about marriage. Christian stopped by my apartment after that conversation and told me, "I'm trying!"

Before heading to school that Fall, I had a conversation with my Mom about what she would do if I got married, and scheduled my first date with Christian.


P.S. Jo(e)y were married 6 months after us--she went to London, but came back to Provo for Joey before deciding whether or not to serve a mission. Christian and I still claim to be very influential in getting them together:)

4 comments:

DeAnn said...

I love this story! And for the record, I always hated cutting Jonathan's hair and finally gave it up years ago. :)

Robin V said...

Great story!

Sherilyn said...

Delightful to read your story! Thanks! (And you all look so young.) :)

Annette Sugiyama said...

But how does the story end?! Oh the suspense!!