Friday, November 6, 2009

Grown-up yet?

At the gym this morning I read through the September issue of Real Simple magazine, where an article asked the question, "When did you first feel grown-up?"

My first thought was that I'm not nearly polished enough to be grown-up. I still sneak cookies from the cookie jar, I'm okay if the dishes hang out in the sink for a while before I wash them, and I'd like to play hooky from my responsibilities. But--I'm 28, so I ought to be grown-up, and there have been a few times when I have felt it.

I didn't really feel like an adult when I moved into my first apartment, because I had so much fun I felt like kid, and I didn't feel grown-up when I made my first house payment (I think I was in high school when that happened). But--when we bought our second home (the first one we actually loved) and I got to decorate and arrange furniture and meet the neighbors, then I felt grown-up in the best way.

When Hannah was born, I was 21 and suddenly felt much, much older. I didn't have a clue how to dress like a young Mom, so I think I looked much older, too. Or just frumpier. However, when I see my four kids playing nicely together, I feel like I've arrived at the good part of life.

When we found out about Rachel's deafness, I was 22 and felt very unprepared. However, I'm a proud Mother when I see her jump off the bus by herself and run home to tell me about her day and read a simple book to me. She has come such a long way!

I'm back in school now, which is pretty fun, but it does make me feel a good way. I'm glad I have my degree, even if I'm not working now, and it feels good to take a class because I need to learn, rather than just because I need a grade to get on with what I really want to be doing, like so many students. I've even started to consider a graduate degree (in the future...can't handle it now!).

Anyway, just thought I'd share. Any thoughts on grow-up, not just older?


val m said...

I still don't feel grown up a lot of the time. For me, it's when I am in the kitchen that I feel grown up! Putting the food on the dinner table I always think, "I'm putting dinner on the table for my family! It's me! I'm the mom!" It is a time when I feel like I've grown up and that this is what I always dreamed of! When I am playing a game with my daughter and laughing hysterically (Like 5 minutes ago), I don't feel grown up - more like a child again - so fun!!!

Nancy said...

This is a beautiful essay. I feel grown-up when I am trusted with a responsibility which I have no idea how to pull off, but somehow it works out. And when people ask me for advice, but only when I can tell they really want to hear it.:o) And when I see my nieces and nephews raising their little families so valiantly, and having fun at the same time.